the tyranny of the word ‘honeymoon’

something i got from mr show.  the torrent finished this morning so now i have the first 2 seasons.  its only 10 episodes total, but fuck it.  i love david cross.

so i go to work in the morning and take a break for a few hours to go to class, then go right back to work.  it’s tiring but i have to go to school and work.  so on my way to school, my car decides that i just wants to break down on the busiest one way street downtown.  i knew that there was something wrong with my car, but i was hoping it would wait until monday.  a car breaking down shouldnt bother me, but i just spent $800 on that ancient mazda in the beginning of january for a fuel pump and new exhaust, before that i replaced the alternator, battery, and hydraulic clutch.  i bought the car a year ago for $1600 and ive probably spent $2500 since then.  i really like this car.  but im about to tow it to the island down the road and throw a maltof in the gas tank if it doesnt quit this shit.  i have a feeling a cylinder may have lost compression.  its like i work only to go to school and drive a car.  i wouldnt have a car if i didnt need one so much.  thoreau would probably hate my laziness, but im not riding a bike approx 40 miles a day, i surely cant afford a cab for that.  thats about $100 a day.

so after being stranded downtown for a while, i manage to get home and check my email.  i notice that a couple of friends of mine have left a message for me on myspace.  the only reason i use myspace is to talk to people i havent in forever.  i see people, contact them, exchange emails, and rarely use myspace to continuosly comunicate with anyone.

both messages stated that i should change my password.  my myspace was jacked and had been since 2/13.  whats funny is that i havent logged in in over a week.  so i try to change my password and myspace makes me jump through hoops just to change a password.  apparently they want me to change my password,  but they blocked my acct so i cant change anything.  oh well.

i feel like kicking and screaming like a small child and asking my mom to just take care of this.  my car i mean.  she always had the car mechanics under her thumb.

i think it just makes me realize how fincially unsteady i am.  ive been working on saving money, but its not like i have alot of money.  i think that ive almost come to accept that i will never been wealthy.  ill probably never own a brand new car and ill probably never own a house.  even though this does sadden me, i am still alright with me.  i know that there are many people out there who dont even have a car or a place to live.  i have established, at least somewhat, a difference between my necessities and wants.  new shoes, clothes, glasses, furniture, tvs, and so on.  id like it, but i dont need it.

i hate being poor, but i know ill be alright.